Some people’s suffering seems interminable. This psalm tells us we can seek God’s mercy, even when we brought the pain we’re suffering on ourselves.
Wrestling with God
For the musical director, Jeduthun. A David psalm.
1 I said, “I’ll be careful to watch what I do
so I don’t sin with my mouth.
I’ll wear a muzzle
whenever evildoers surround me!”
2 I was mute, utterly silent
saying nothing when deprived of good things[1]
but my pain only intensified.
3 My thoughts smouldered inside me
till I was on fire inside
and these words burst out:
4 “Tell me what will happen to me, Yahveh
how much longer I have to live.
Show me just how little time I have left.
5 Look, you’ve made my life
mere handspans long—
my entire lifetime like nothing to you.
Every last person standing on earth
is but a breath.
6 We pass like shadows.
Mere breath, we all hustle
to heap up wealth
not knowing who will finally get it.”
7 So now, Yahveh, what do I hope for?
My hope is in you.
8 Rescue me from all my sins.
Don’t make me the laughingstock of fools.
9 I kept silent, not opening my mouth
for I knew you were the one punishing me.
10 Take your scourge away from me
for the blows you’ve dealt me have worn me out.
11 You correct people by punishing their sins—
like a moth you eat away all their desires.
Yes, every human being is just a breath.
12 Listen to my plea
pay attention to my cry for help
don’t ignore my tears
because I’m your guest
a sojourner like all my ancestors.
13 Look away from me
so I can smile once more
before I move on
and my life is over and done.
Gripped by regret and fear, Jacob may have prayed something like this with Esau’s armed horde closing in. Jesus may have prayed this in Gethsemane, facing the cross.
Evildoers—maybe Absalom’s mob—are stripping David of all he desires. He initially resolves to take it stoically, knowing his enemies act with God’s permission, that God is using them to punish him. But his inner anguish builds till he boldly tells God he can’t take any more of this attention.
Despite its philosophical tone, this psalm is actually an argument, saying: “How long must I endure this, God? Besides stacking the deck against us during our fleeting lives, you strip us of all we hold dear when you punish us for our sins. My only hope is that you’ll have mercy and free me from the death grip of my sin and its consequences. Give me a break! Grant me respite before it’s too late!”
Neither lyrical nor upbeat, this psalm won’t likely make it onto our list of favorites. But it serves as a model prayer for anyone undergoing suffering, whether or not for their sins. What makes it so helpful is the way it holds pain and grief—even despair—in tension with undying hope in God’s mercy.
As a sojourner, Lord, I’m totally reliant on your goodness to me. But you sometimes lead me through loss and grief to get my attention or curb my rebel ways. Help me to cry out to you in my pain, knowing that you hear me and your mercy never fails. You alone are my hope. Amen.
In your spare moments today, meditate on this truth:
As a sojourner and guest here, I am fully reliant on the unfailing love of God.
[1] Robert Alter (2007) 138.
